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Would you be happy as a long-term single? The answer may depend on your attachment style

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Are all single people insecure? When we think about people who have been single for a long time, we may assume it’s because single people have insecurities that make it difficult for them to find a partner or maintain a relationship.</p> <p>But is this true? Or can long-term single people also be secure and thriving?</p> <p>Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jopy.12929">latest research</a> published in the Journal of Personality suggests they can. However, perhaps unsurprisingly, not everybody tends to thrive in singlehood. Our study shows a crucial factor may be a person’s attachment style.</p> <h2>Singlehood is on the rise</h2> <p>Singlehood is on the rise around the world. In Canada, single status among young adults aged 25 to 29 has increased from <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713b-eng.htm">32% in 1981 to 61% in 2021</a>. The number of people <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713a-eng.htm">living solo</a> has increased from 1.7 million people in 1981 to 4.4 million in 2021.</p> <p>People are single for many reasons: <a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/ebook/9780520971004/happy-singlehood">some choose</a> to remain single, some are focusing on <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12147-020-09249-0">personal goals and aspirations</a>, some report <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/">dating has become harder</a>, and some become single again due to a relationship breakdown.</p> <p>People may also remain single due to their attachment style. Attachment theory is a popular and well-researched model of how we form relationships with other people. An <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=attachment+theory">Amazon search for attachment theory</a> returns thousands of titles. The hashtag #attachmenttheory has been viewed <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/08/20/why-attachment-theory-is-trending-according-to-dr-amir-levine.html">over 140 million times</a> on TikTok alone.</p> <h2>What does attachment theory say about relationships?</h2> <p>Attachment theory suggests our relationships with others are shaped by our degree of “anxiety” and “avoidance”.</p> <p>Attachment anxiety is a type of insecurity that leads people to feel anxious about relationships and worry about abandonment. Attachment avoidance leads people to feel uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness.</p> <p>People who are lower in attachment anxiety and avoidance are considered “securely attached”, and are comfortable depending on others, and giving and receiving intimacy.</p> <p>Single people are often stereotyped as being <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/01461672231203123">too clingy or non-committal</a>. Research comparing single and coupled people also suggests single people have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2012.00793.x?casa_token=6iiCm5PjHgkAAAAA:0kBeofx3M-72YrkVppmNxdWBIAImFwm3lAakCnuiNXL20SVP1zaW7UeDIahW_43imAjSRXgtyN0hLVI">higher levels of attachment insecurities</a> compared to people in relationships.</p> <p>At the same time, evidence suggests many single people are choosing to remain single and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/17456916221136119">living happy lives</a>.</p> <h2>Single people represent a diverse group of secure and insecure people</h2> <p>In our latest research, our team of social and clinical psychologists examined single people’s attachment styles and how they related to their happiness and wellbeing.</p> <p>We carried out two studies, one of 482 younger single people and the other of 400 older long-term singles. We found overall 78% were categorised as insecure, with the other 22% being secure.</p> <p>Looking at our results more closely, we found four distinct subgroups of singles:</p> <ul> <li> <p>secure singles are relatively comfortable with intimacy and closeness in relationships (22%)</p> </li> <li> <p>anxious singles question whether they are loved by others and worry about being rejected (37%)</p> </li> <li> <p>avoidant singles are uncomfortable getting close to others and prioritise their independence (23% of younger singles and 11% of older long-term singles)</p> </li> <li> <p>fearful singles have heightened anxiety about abandonment, but are simultaneously uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness (16% of younger singles and 28% of older long-term singles).</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Insecure singles find singlehood challenging, but secure singles are thriving</h2> <p>Our findings also revealed these distinct subgroups of singles have distinct experiences and outcomes.</p> <p>Secure singles are happy being single, have a greater number of non-romantic relationships, and better relationships with family and friends. They meet their sexual needs outside romantic relationships and feel happier with their life overall. Interestingly, this group maintains moderate interest in being in a romantic relationship in the future.</p> <p>Anxious singles tend to be the most worried about being single, have lower self-esteem, feel less supported by close others and have some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <p>Avoidant singles show the least interest in being in a romantic relationship and in many ways appear satisfied with singlehood. However, they also have fewer friends and close relationships, and are generally less satisfied with these relationships than secure singles. Avoidant singles also report less meaning in life and tend to be less happy compared to secure singles.</p> <p>Fearful singles reported more difficulties navigating close relationships than secure singles. For instance, they were less able to regulate their emotions, and were less satisfied with the quality of their close relationships relative to secure singles. They also reported some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <h2>It’s not all doom and gloom</h2> <p>These findings should be considered alongside several relevant points. First, although most singles in our samples were insecure (78%), a sizeable number were secure and thriving (22%).</p> <p>Further, simply being in a romantic relationship is not a panacea. Being in an unhappy relationship is linked to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316">poorer life outcomes</a> than being single.</p> <p>It is also important to remember that attachment orientations are not necessarily fixed. They are open to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300113">change</a> in response to life events.</p> <p>Similarly, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0963721413510933">sensitive and responsive behaviours</a> from close others and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231162390">feeling loved and cared about</a> by close others can soothe underlying attachment concerns and foster attachment security over time.</p> <p>Our studies are some of the first to examine the diversity in attachment styles among single adults. Our findings highlight that many single people are secure and thriving, but also that more work can be done to help insecure single people feel more secure in order to foster happiness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/227595/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/would-you-be-happy-as-a-long-term-single-the-answer-may-depend-on-your-attachment-style-227595">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Relationships

Dean Jones’ daughter’s touching wedding tribute to her late father

<p>The daughter of late cricket legend Dean Jones has paid a special tribute to him on her wedding day. </p> <p>Phoebe Jones, one of the cricketer’s three children, tied the knot with partner Dario Gomez on the island paradise of Boracay in the Philippines last Wednesday.</p> <p>As a tribute to her late father, Phoebe had the number 324 embroidered at the end of her veil. </p> <p>Dean was a batter and the 324th person selected to play Test cricket for Australia. He was inducted to the Australian Cricket Hall of Fame in 2019. </p> <p>“Feeling all the love after the week of our dreams,” she captioned the photos posted to Instagram on Saturday.</p> <p>The wedding had a white theme and featured a stunning sand sculpture with the words “Dario & Phoebe wedding, 24 April 2024."</p> <p>“The most beautiful week celebrating Mr & Mrs Gomez, so many smiles, tears and everlasting memories,” h<span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">er sister and bridesmaid Augusta wrote in the comments. </span></p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C6Pe7peS8DD/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C6Pe7peS8DD/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Phoebe Jones (@phoebejones.xo)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Dean tragically passed away on September 24, 2020 aged just 59, after he suffered a stroke while travelling in India as part of his IPL commentary duties. </p> <p>The cricket legend was farewelled at a private family service at the MCG on October 7, 2020. </p> <p>“We have been deeply moved by the outpouring of love for Dean over the last week and can’t thank everyone enough for their support and for sharing their memories with us,” his wife Jane said at the time. </p> <p>“It has been an awful time to navigate as a family, but I could not have thought of a more fitting place to say goodbye to my husband.”</p> <p>He was also honoured on the opening day of the Boxing Day Test against India in 2020. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

<p>A pilot has proposed to his flight attendant girlfriend just minutes before take off in a heart-warming display of love. </p> <p>Polish pilot Konrad Hanc was captured emerging from the cockpit before embarking on a flight to Kraków to make a surprising announcement over the PA system. </p> <p>Hanc introduced himself to the passengers before explaining the real reason for his message. </p> <p>“On today’s flight there is a very special person," he began.</p> <p>“Ladies and gentlemen, about one and a half years ago in this job I met the most wonderful person that completely changed my life."</p> <p>“You are most precious to me. You are my greatest dream come true. This is why I have to ask you a favour, honey."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by LOT Polish Airlines (@flylot)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Will you marry me?” he asked while getting down on one knee, as another flight attendant handed him a bouquet of flowers. </p> <p>His girlfriend, Paula, sprinted up the aisle of the plane before leaping into the arms of her future husband. </p> <p>Passengers watched on in anticipation for her answer with one yelling, “Did she say yes?” to which the beaming captain responded: “She said yes!”</p> <p>Hanc explained that he chose to pop the question on the flight to the Polish city as he met Paula on the same flight just 18 months ago. </p> <p>As the pair embraced in a hug and kiss, passengers erupted in applause, with many taking to the now viral Facebook post to send them well wishes. </p> <p>“I love this! Sweet couple!” one person wrote.</p> <p>”TOTALLYYYYY LOVE IN THE AIR,” another enthusiastic person commented, to which the airline responded: “YES, love IS in the air!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: LOT Polish Airlines</em></p>

Relationships

Keeping intimacy alive after menopause

<p>When sex is no longer enjoyable due to the changes brought on by menopause, many women sadly give up, wrongly believing there is no solution. This can result in loneliness within a relationship even leading to separation or divorce.</p> <p>But there is help available and it comes down to addressing genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), a syndrome no one talks about despite the fact it affects all post-menopausal women and unlike hot flushes, doesn’t go away.</p> <p>GSM covers a range of menopausal symptoms including incontinence, burning, stinging or itching of the vagina, delayed or impaired orgasm and reduced libido. The good news is, there is help available, even for women who are unable to use hormone therapy and it’s never too late to seek help and take action.</p> <p><strong>Treat the pain</strong></p> <p>Pain and discomfort during intimacy is often the result of vaginal dryness. This can be addressed in many ways including the use of lubricants or vaginal moisturisers but it’s worth talking to your GP about a longer term solution. For many women, menopause hormone therapy (MHT) will help.</p> <p>An alternative to MHT is radiofrequency treatment with <a title="https://www.inmode.com.au/pages/empower-rf" href="https://www.inmode.com.au/pages/empower-rf" data-outlook-id="5a8b7279-e5dc-4ab9-9f3d-b788bb0310ee">EmpowerRF</a> to rejuvenate the tissue and increase collagen and elastin.</p> <p><strong>Take it slowly</strong></p> <p>Often women want to rekindle intimacy with their partner but are not sure how to go about it and fear often inhibits them initiating any intimacy at all.</p> <p>A staged return to intimacy can help.</p> <p>This is achieved by an agreement to limit the intimacy to non-sexual cuddles, no matter the level of desire, for an agreed period of time such as two weeks.</p> <p>It’s a great way to reignite that spark in a comfortable way, before taking things to the next level when both partners are ready.</p> <p><strong>Try new positions</strong></p> <p>Laying side by side can give the woman greater control over the rate of entry and the depth of penetration. </p> <p>If there is pain, stop at that point and breath and only increase penetration once the tissues have relaxed.</p> <p>If pain is still preventing penetration, it is important to seek professional help to find a solution. </p> <p>An examination will determine whether there is any other reason for the pain. A doctor can discuss options including estrogen cream, radiofrequency treatment and even Botox to help relax the muscles.</p> <p><strong> Address incontinence </strong></p> <p>One in two post-menopausal women experience incontinence, which can be a large barrier to sexual intimacy. </p> <p>I have helped many women overcome their struggles with incontinence, using electrical muscle stimulation treatment (V Tone) and radiofrequency technology (Forma V and Morpheus8V) to rejuvenate the tissues and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. It can be life changing.</p> <p><strong><em>Dr Judy Craig is a Perth-based GP and cosmetic physician. She has practiced medicine for over 40 years.</em></strong></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Relationships

Two-up, Gallipoli and the ‘fair go’: why illegal gambling is at the heart of the Anzac myth

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bruce-moore-291912">Bruce Moore</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-national-university-877">Australian National University</a></em></p> <p>Two-up is an Australian gambling game in which two coins are placed on a small piece of wood called a “kip” and tossed into the air. Bets are laid as to whether both coins will fall with heads or tails uppermost. It is one of the core activities of Anzac Day celebrations - and a beloved tradition.</p> <p>The word <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/ANZAC">ANZAC</a> was created in 1915 as an acronym from Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. By 1916 it was being used emblematically to reflect the traditional view of the virtues displayed by those in the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/event/Gallipoli-Campaign">Gallipoli campaign</a>, especially as these are seen as national characteristics. This cluster of national characteristics includes mateship, larrikin daredevilry, anti-authoritarianism, and egalitarianism.</p> <p>The game of two-up became indicative of these qualities. Mateship was evident in the way the game brought together people of disparate backgrounds. Larrikinism was evident in the defiant rejection of authority and convention.</p> <p>Two-up was always illegal, because the game is an unregulated form of gambling (although from the 1980s it became legal in most Australian states on Anzac Day). But in spite of the illegality, it was widely regarded as the fairest of gambling games, and at the time of the First World War the verbal command for the coins to be spun was not “come in spinner” (as it is now) but “fair go”. Indeed, the important Australian concept of the “fair go” was in part cemented by its role in the game.</p> <p>Two-up was the common pastime of the urban working-class man, and it feeds into the elements of egalitarianism and anti-authoritarianism that are central to both the Anzac myth and the Australian myth.</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=466&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=466&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=466&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=585&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=585&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/458543/original/file-20220419-17-6mgarp.jpg?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=585&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption><span class="caption">Two original 1915 Australian pennies in a kip from which they are tossed.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Roland Scheicher/ Wikimedia</span></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Two-up and wartime life</h2> <p>From the very early period of the First World War, two-up assumed great importance among the Australian troops. Soldiers reported that two-up was played on the battlefield during the Gallipoli campaign, even when under shellfire. As the war dragged on, numerous stories were told about Australian soldiers’ obsession with playing it.</p> <p>In 1918 the <a href="https://www.awm.gov.au/collection/P10676229">war correspondent Charles Bean</a> studied the daily life of a company of Australian soldiers stationed at a brewery in Querrieu in northern France.</p> <p>He places great emphasis on two-up, writing in his diary in 1918: "Two-up’ is the universal pastime of the men. … It is a game which starts in any quarter of an hour’s interval or lasts the whole afternoon. The side road outside becomes every evening a perfect country fair with groups playing these games in it - a big crowd of 70 or 80 at the bottom the street, in the middle of the road; a smaller crowd of perhaps twenty on a doorstep further up. … The game is supposed to be illegal, I think; but at any rate in this company they wink at it."</p> <p>Two-up was important not just in taking soldiers’ minds off the realities of the war, but also in creating a strong sense of community. Photographs from the war that show the men playing two-up reveal how it brought them together physically in a communal activity.</p> <p>This helps explains why men, who in civilian life may have had little or no interest in gambling, joined in the camaraderie and fun of the two-up fair, and by so doing blotted out the boredom, isolation, and loneliness of much wartime experience.</p> <h2>Anzac Day and tradition</h2> <p>Playing two-up became an integral part of the diggers’ memories of the experience of war, especially when commemorated on Anzac Day. By the 1930s the playing of two-up outdoors after the Anzac Day march had become an entrenched tradition.</p> <p>As the ranks of diggers from the two world wars declined, so the structure of Anzac Day changed in emphasis. In recent years the Dawn Service has increased greatly in popularity, while the Anzac Day march has <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-04-07/concern-over-australias-dwindling-number-of-world-war-veterans/10911602">suffered from dwindling numbers</a> of veterans. The streets of Sydney and similar cities are no longer dotted with two-up games in the afternoon. The games have shifted to pubs and clubs, and they are largely played by people with no experience of war.</p> <p>Those people who play the game on this day do so not for any deep-seated gambling impulse or because they would love to play the game on every other day of the year. They play two-up because it has become part of the meaning of Anzac Day.</p> <p>Anzac Day has always combined solemnity and festivity. The Dawn Service commemorates the landing at Gallipoli, and the sacrifices that ensued. Its mood is solemn.</p> <p>In the past, returned soldiers reminisced, told war yarns, drank, and played two-up. The soldiers have passed on, but their larrikinism survives in the tradition of the game they have bequeathed to their descendants.</p> <p>We should not underestimate the significance of rituals of this kind—the playing of two-up is a way in which Australians can become not just observers of, but participants in, their history and their myths. Two-up is a ritual that links the present with the past on this one day of the year.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/181337/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bruce-moore-291912">Bruce Moore</a>, Honorary Associate Professor in the School of Literature, Languages, and Linguistics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-national-university-877">Australian National University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image </em><em>credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/two-up-gallipoli-and-the-fair-go-why-illegal-gambling-is-at-the-heart-of-the-anzac-myth-181337">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Money & Banking

“Love is so sweet": Man's sweet mid-air proposal goes viral

<p>Love is in the air! </p> <p>A smitten passenger took his love to the skies and proposed to his girlfriend while on board an Air Peace flight, with the romantic moment captured on camera. </p> <p>A social media user took to TikTok to share the sweet proposal, with the caption: “POV: My friend was proposed to in a plane.”</p> <p>The minute-long video showed a man getting out of his seat on board the packed plane to use the aircraft’s PA system so that he could ask for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage.</p> <p>“She’s so precious and her name is Precious,” the man said before popping the question. </p> <p> “Please, my Precious, I want to ask, will you marry me?”</p> <p>“If you will, just come out and say ‘yes’ to me, my precious,” he added before walking down the aisle of the aircraft. </p> <p>Other passengers cheered for the couple, and in a second video, the man is seen greeting Precious, then getting down on one knee to offer her the ring.</p> <p>Precious was overjoyed at the proposal and said yes, hugging her new fiance. </p> <p>While it is unclear where the plane was travelling, Air Peace is a Nigerian carrier that operates flights to destinations in West Africa and the Middle East, according to the NY Post. </p> <p>TikTok users were also touched by the romantic act, with many of them congratulating the couple. </p> <p>“This is beautiful,” one wrote. </p> <p>“Love is so sweet for real,” another swooned. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p>There has been a recent surge of attention toward attachment theory: from <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2aW9va/">TikTok videos</a> to <a href="https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/">online quizzes</a> that claim to “assess your attachment style.” It’s become a hot topic, especially in the context of romantic relationships, with <a href="https://medium.com/curious/the-theory-that-explains-all-your-failed-relationships-fb2dc2551617">some articles</a> claiming that one person (or partner’s) attachment styles are the reason why relationships fail.</p> <p>As experts in developmental and clinical psychology focusing on attachment theory, we seek to provide an accessible resource to better understand the science of attachment, and what it means for one’s romantic relationships.</p> <h2>What is attachment?</h2> <p>Attachment theory stems from the field of developmental psychology. It is the notion that in the first year of life, the ways in which a parent and caregiver respond to a child’s needs shape a child’s expectation of relationships across their lifespan.</p> <p>In research, attachment has been associated with well-being across the lifespan including: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579499002035">mental</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2018.1541517">physical</a> health, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671">brain functioning</a> and even <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships</a>.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=455&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=572&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustrations of four different attachment styes" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There are two overarching types of attachment: secure and insecure. Types of insecure attachment include disorganized, avoidant and anxious attachment.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>How is attachment related to romantic relationships?</h2> <p>Among professionals in the field, there is diversity in perspectives regarding how attachment relates with romantic relationships. As developmental psychologists, we tend to think that attachment is associated with romantic relationships through what we call the “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14616739900134191">internal working model</a>.”</p> <p>In childhood, when a parent is consistent and responsive in tending to their child, the child learns that their parent can be counted on in times of need. These expectations and beliefs about relationships are then internalized as a blueprint, sometimes in popular media referred to as a “<a href="https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/love-maps-are-a-gamechanger-when-you-have-an-anxious-attachment-style-dc8f219ab0af">love map</a>.” Just like how an architect uses a blueprint to design a building, a child’s attachment to their parents provides a blueprint for understanding how to approach other relationships.</p> <p>Based on this blueprint, people develop expectations of how relationships should work, and how other important people in their life, including partners, should respond to their needs.</p> <p>Sometimes attachment is also described in terms of attachment “styles.” There are two overarching types of attachment: <a href="https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045">secure and insecure</a>. Those with a secure attachment style tend to have expectations that their attachment figures (and later, partners) will be responsive, sensitive and caring in times of distress. People with secure “blueprints” find it easier to build new structures (i.e., relationships) with the same design.</p> <p>People with insecure blueprints — such as disorganized, avoidant or anxious attachment styles — may face relationship challenges when their current relationship doesn’t align with their childhood experiences, and may need to renovate their blueprint design together with their partner.</p> <p>Whether you think about attachment as a style or a love map, they both are related to expectations of relationships, which are shaped by past experiences.</p> <p>In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships — including <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1997.tb00135.x">friendships</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13322">teacher-child relationships</a> and yes, <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships too</a>.</p> <h2>Relationships with parents and relationships with partners</h2> <p>Although we do see in research that better childhood relationships are associated with better romantic relationships, there is still a large part of the population who have good relationships with partners, despite their history of lower-quality relationships with their parents.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=453&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=453&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=453&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=569&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=569&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=569&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustration of loving parents with a child, and the grown child in a loving relationship" /><figcaption><span class="caption">In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <p>It is possible for romantic relationships to serve as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.155">“healing relationship”</a> and improve one’s own internal working model of relationships. Specifically, when a partner is consistently sensitive, responsive and available, a person may begin to adjust their blueprint and develop new expectations from relationships. Attachment theory consistently supports the idea that one’s patterns of attachment <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ960225">can change</a>.</p> <p>So, all in all, the answer is no: Your relationship with your parents influences but does not <em>determine</em> the quality of your romantic relationships.</p> <h2>Is attachment the reason why my relationships don’t work out?</h2> <p>It is possible that your expectations of a romantic relationship may not align with the expectations of your partner, and may affect the quality of the relationship. For example, sometimes individuals with insecure attachments may withdraw when they are upset, but their partner who has a secure attachment may be upset that their partner is not coming to them for comfort.</p> <p>Thinking through your own attachment history and expectations of relationships may be a great opportunity for self-reflection, but it is important to remember that attachment is only one part of a relationship. Communication, trust and respect, to name a few, are also critically important aspects of a relationship.</p> <h2>Can I improve my attachment expectations?</h2> <p>The short answer: Yes! Improving attachment quality has been one of the cornerstones of attachment theory and research since its conception. Most commonly, attachment is targeted in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0LCPe5CMarYi1NmqNttDcg/videos">childhood through interventions</a>, but also in adulthood through individual therapy, or various forms of couples therapy, such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaHms5z-yuM">Emotionally Focused Therapy</a> or the <a href="https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/">Gottman Method</a>.</p> <p>It is also possible that through positive relationships you may be able to improve your own expectations of relationships. There are many different avenues to explore, but improvement is always possible.</p> <p>In sum, attachment can be an important factor in romantic relationships, but it is not a “catch-all” to be blamed for why relationships may not work out. Thinking about your own expectations for relationships and talking through those with your partner may do great things in improving the quality of your relationships! <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226101/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-attachment-theory-actually-important-for-romantic-relationships-226101">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

Matt Shirvington opens up on marriage and fatherhood

<p>Matt Shrivington has opened up about marrying his "first crush" when he tied the knot with his wife in 2001. </p> <p>The <em>Sunrise</em> host spoke candidly to <em>Sydney Morning Herald</em> about the early days of his relationship with his wife Jessica, sharing how the pair "made it official" when they were just 18 years old. </p> <p>The 45-year-old reflected on his whirlwind romance, sharing how the couple met at a house party when they were teenagers. </p> <p>“We went to separate schools but had mutual friends and saw one another often at house parties,” Shirvo said.</p> <p>The former Olympian said the couple had a “false start” after Jess came down with chickenpox, while he was focused on his athletics career.</p> <p>“But by the time we’d finished our Higher School Certificate (Year 12, in NSW), we’d made it official. We moved in together aged 18 and started our lives as a couple,” he added.</p> <p>Jess and Matt married in 2001 and moved to London a year later, after Matt was based in England for his athletics training. </p> <p>Their family grew in 2006 when they welcomed their first child Sienna, before deciding to return to Australia in 2008. </p> <p>The couple had a second daughter, Winter, soon after, and went on to have a son, Lincoln, who is six.</p> <p>Shirvo shared how much he loves raising daughters and getting to see their sense of independence grow.</p> <p>“They’re great young women, strong and powerful, and I love seeing their desire for independence,” Shirvo said.</p> <p>“Sienna is extremely artistic and Winnie is ambitious about sport – she just competed in the under-17s National Rowing Championships."</p> <p>“It doesn’t matter what it is, if your kids have a passion for something and love waking up in the morning to do it, you’ll back it to the end of the earth as a parent.” </p> <p>On Monday morning's episode of <em>Sunrise</em>, Nat Barr praised the article and Shirvo for his heartwarming words about his family. </p> <p>“Interesting article in the paper over the weekend about our very own Shirvo — who got candid about life, love, and family,” Barr said, referring to the piece.</p> <p>“I wanted to give you a shout-out — it was really lovely, I loved reading it.”</p> <p>“My favourite part was when you said, ‘I never had a celebrity crush growing up, but I did marry my first crush’ It was a really gorgeous story,” Barr said of the piece.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

Relationships

Unique way couple raised $11K for their wedding

<p>When Andie Lickiss proposed to Pagan on New Years Eve in 2021, he had no idea that the pair would spend the next year collecting trash from their neighbours. </p> <p>With the cost-of-living on the rise, the couple were doing everything they could to save up for their dream wedding on September 2023. </p> <p>“We were both working two jobs, trying to save for a house, and everything is just so expensive,” Pagan told <em>7Life</em>. </p> <p>“We didn’t want the wedding to put us in debt.”</p> <p>While thinking of ways to cut corners and save more money, Pagan - who was a keen recycler and had been using a state government-run recycling initiative, Return and Earn, since 2018 - felt inspired to take her recycling to the next level after spotting a wheelie bin in her backyard. </p> <p>Pagan then took to her local community Facebook page to ask her neighbours for their unwanted bottles and cans to help with the cost of their wedding, with the initiative offering 10 cents per aluminium can, plastic or glass bottle deposited.</p> <p>“I had about 50 messages from people ... saying they will just stack them outside their house and we can come and collect,” she said. </p> <p>She then started mapping out the perfect route to pick up the recycling ,and not long after, the couple began their trash-collecting journey almost every day after work in their ute and trailer. </p> <p>“People might laugh because it is only 10 cents (per container),” she said. </p> <p>“But every little bit counts.”</p> <p>Over 19 months the couple recycled more than 100,000 containers, and made memories along the way, as they got closer to their neighbours who would donate cardboard boxes and wheelie bins full of empty cans and bottles. </p> <p>They also volunteered at local sporting events and spent weekends cleaning up fields and stadiums. </p> <p>Each dollar went towards their goal of $4,500 to pay for their dream photographer, with the couple sometimes pocketing more than $400 at a time when they cashed in each load. </p> <p>Within six months the couple had reached their goal, but they didn't stop there. </p> <p>“I couldn’t believe it,” Pagan said. </p> <p>“We just decided to keep going. The cost of living wasn’t getting cheaper.”</p> <p>Andie and Pagan cashed in cans and bottles right up until the week before their wedding. </p> <p>“We never told anyone how much we made,” Pagan said. </p> <p>“Our celebrant announced it at the wedding (and) the looks on everyone’s faces! They were so shocked, and our photographers caught it.”</p> <p>The couple collected a grand total of $11,127.50 with the help of their local community, and now Pagan encourages others to reach out and ask for help. </p> <p>“I hope that people who are doing it tough are not afraid to reach out and ask for help.”</p> <p><em>Images: 7News</em></p>

Relationships

Qantas connects two destinations for the first time in 50 years

<p>Qantas has announced a new international route that will see Aussies connected to a popular holiday destination for the first time in 50 years. </p> <p>Two return flights will operate each week between Sydney and Papua New Guinea's Port Moresby, adding to the service already running to the island nation from Brisbane. </p> <p>“These flights will meet the growing demand from the business community for travel between Australia and Papua New Guinea,” Cam Wallace, CEO of Qantas International and Freight, said. </p> <p>“Our new Sydney service will save customers at least three hours in travel time on return trip by avoiding a stopover in Brisbane.”</p> <p>The route is the latest international service to be added to Qantas’ network out of Sydney, with the airline suggesting it will support both business and trade between Australia and Papua New Guinea.</p> <p>Trailing behind island nations such as Fiji and Indonesia, Papua New Guinea's tourism industry is steadily growing in popularity largely due to containing the world’s third largest rainforest, crystal clear waters, and 45,000km of coral reefs.</p> <p>As the number of annual travellers to PNG increases, so does accommodation options, with Marriott International announcing earlier this year that they would be expanding their accommodation into Papua New Guinea, marketing those wishing to have an “extended stay”.</p> <p>“We are thrilled to establish our inaugural foothold in Papua New Guinea with this milestone opening”, said Sean Hunt, area vice-president of Australia, New Zealand and Pacific for Marriott International, in a statement.</p> <p>“This is also a debut for the Marriott Executive Apartments brand in the region, allowing us to diversify our offering to cater to ambitious and adventurous travellers who seek a premium, trusted extended-stay experience.”</p> <p>While the new tourism initiatives have been put in place to help boost the economy of PNG, Papua New Guinea currently has travel advisory warnings in place, with SmartTraveller urging visitors to “exercise a high degree of caution in Papua New Guinea overall due to high levels of serious crime, with “higher levels” applying in some areas.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

International Travel

Princess of Wales and King Charles: one in two people develop cancer during their lives – the diseases and treatments explained

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gavin-metcalf-1340598">Gavin Metcalf</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/anglia-ruskin-university-1887">Anglia Ruskin University</a></em></p> <p>The Princess of Wales released a <a href="https://x.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/1771235267837321694?s=20">moving video message</a> on March 22 to address speculation about her health. In it, the future queen disclosed that she’d been <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-68641710">diagnosed with cancer</a> following tests conducted after she underwent major abdominal surgery at a clinic in London in January.</p> <p>Catherine explained that she was undergoing “preventative chemotherapy” – but emphasised that her surgery had been successful, and that she was “well” and “getting stronger every day”.</p> <p>The message was the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/mar/22/princess-kate-cancer-royal-family-health-annus-horribilis">second announcement</a> of a royal family cancer diagnosis in recent weeks. On February 5, Buckingham Palace <a href="https://www.royal.uk/a-statement-from-buckingham-palace-5Feb24">published a statement</a> that King Charles III had been diagnosed with an undisclosed form of <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68208157">cancer, unrelated</a> to the treatment he had been receiving for an enlarged prostate.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3xzKooCaRXU?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>The statement said that he had begun “regular treatments”. The king postponed all public-facing duties during his treatment, but <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68213383">reportedly continued</a> with his “constitutional role as head of state, including completing paperwork and holding private meetings”.</p> <p>Cancer is the <a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/cancer">leading cause of death</a> worldwide. <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cancer/#:%7E:text=The%20cancerous%20cells%20can%20invade,of%20cancer%20during%20their%20lifetime.">One in two</a> people will develop some form of cancer in their lifetime – so the condition will affect almost every family. However, many cancers can be cured if, as appears to be the case with the king, the condition is <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68213383">detected early</a> and treated effectively.</p> <h2>What is cancer?</h2> <p>Our bodies are made up of more than 100 billion cells, and cancer typically starts with changes in a small group of cells – or even a single one.</p> <p>We have different cell types depending upon where in the body they are and the function that the cell has. The size, amount and function of each of these cells is normally tightly regulated by genes – groups of codes held within our DNA – that instruct cells how to grow and divide.</p> <p>However, changes (mutations) to DNA can alter the way cells grow and multiply – often forming a lump, or solid tumour. Cancers can also develop in blood cells, such as white blood cell cancer which is known as leukaemia. This type of cancer does not form solid tumours; instead, the cancer builds up in the blood or sometimes the marrow in the core of bones, where blood cells are produced.</p> <p>In all, there are <a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/how-cancer-starts/types-of-cancer#:%7E:text=For%20example%2C%20nerves%20and%20muscles,of%20cell%20they%20start%20in.">more than 200</a> types of cancer, but all start with mutations in the DNA contained within each and every cell.</p> <h2>What exactly are mutations?</h2> <p>Think of your DNA as a big recipe book, and your genes as individual recipes for making different dishes. Mutations are smudges or missing words from this recipe that can result in key ingredients not being added into the mix.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8BJ8_5Gyhg8?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Regardless of the type of cancer or the cells from which it develops, mutations in our genes can result in a cell no longer understanding its instructions.</p> <p>These mutations can happen by chance when dividing, but can also be the result of lifestyle choices such as <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6141049/">smoking</a>, <a href="https://www.ndph.ox.ac.uk/news/new-genetic-study-confirms-that-alcohol-is-a-direct-cause-of-cancer#:%7E:text=These%20mutations%20both%20disrupt%20the,aldehyde%20dehydrogenase%202%20(ALDH2).">drinking</a>, and <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/obesity/physical-activity-fact-sheet">inactivity</a>.</p> <p>Research has found that in order for a normal cell to turn into a cancerous cell, anywhere from <a href="https://www.sanger.ac.uk/news_item/1-10-mutations-are-needed-drive-cancer-scientists-find/">one to ten different mutations</a> are normally required.</p> <h2>How is cancer treated?</h2> <p>Treatment options for cancer depend on a variety of factors, including where your cancer is, how large it is, and whether it has spread to other parts of the body. The main treatments for cancer include surgery, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy.</p> <p>Chemotherapy uses drugs to target and kill cells that are rapidly dividing in our bodies. This approach is effective at targeting fast-growing cells in various cancers – but also has negative side effects. It also targets healthy cells that rapidly divide, such as hair and the cells lining our digestive system. This can lead to commonly reported <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chemotherapy/side-effects/">side-effects</a> such as hair loss, nausea and diarrhoea.</p> <p><a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/chemotherapy?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-_mvBhDwARIsAA-Q0Q6tyQxTuBzU7vVD7SHjQ5dF-fRdqnL7S74-k5LXyTqODydsrPfJVsoaAkgyEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds">Chemotherapy</a> can be used both preventatively – as in the case of the princess – and therapeutically.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FkZn5u3MIiY?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Preventative chemotherapy, also known as <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/publications/dictionaries/cancer-terms/def/adjuvant-therapy">adjuvant chemotherapy</a>, is given after surgery or other primary treatments to eliminate any remaining cancer cells in the body. It aims to reduce the risk of the cancer returning (known as recurrence).</p> <p>Therapeutic chemotherapy is used as a treatment option for cancer that has spread or is well established, such as advanced-stage cancers.</p> <p><a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/surgery/about">Surgery</a> involves the physical removal of cancerous tissues as well as nearby lymph nodes – small glands which act as filters in your body that cancers can spread through – to eliminate the tumour. Surgery is often used to remove localised cancers that haven’t spread throughout the body.</p> <p><a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/radiotherapy">Radiotherapy</a> uses high-energy radiation beams that are able to target specific areas where tumour cells are located to destroy or shrink the tumour. Radiotherapy can be applied externally or internally.</p> <p>Chemotherapy, surgery, and radiotherapy are often combined in cancer treatment to improve outcomes for patients.</p> <p>Thanks to developments in cancer research over the last 50 years, survival rates have improved greatly – although the rate of improvement has <a href="https://news.cancerresearchuk.org/2024/02/02/world-cancer-day-2024/#:%7E:text=Improvements%20in%20cancer%20survival%20have%20slowed%20in%20recent%20years&text=Survival%20increased%20three%20to%20five,consistently%20lags%20behind%20comparable%20countries.">slowed recently</a>. Cancer survival depends on various factors such as age – people under 40 have a <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/age">greater chance</a> of survival – overall health and fitness, as well as family history.</p> <h2>What you should do</h2> <p>Particular changes in your body or warning symptoms could indicate the presence of cancer. These include, but are not limited to:</p> <ul> <li>Unexplained weight loss;</li> <li>Fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest;</li> <li>Changes in bowel or bladder habits;</li> <li>Persistent cough or coughing up blood;</li> <li>Difficulty swallowing;</li> <li>Persistent pain;</li> <li>Noticing lumps, such as in a breast or testicle.</li> </ul> <p>The symptoms may not necessarily be the result of cancer. But it is important to get checked by a doctor if you notice anything out of the ordinary or have had persistent symptoms that don’t ease. Early detection and treatment can <a href="https://www.science.org/doi/full/10.1126/science.aay9040">significantly improve</a> outcomes for many types of cancer.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226456/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gavin-metcalf-1340598">Gavin Metcalf</a>, Cancer Biologist and Lecturer in Biomedical Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/anglia-ruskin-university-1887">Anglia Ruskin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/princess-of-wales-and-king-charles-one-in-two-people-develop-cancer-during-their-lives-the-diseases-and-treatments-explained-226456">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

Heroic great-grandma saves two-year-old from collapsed ceiling

<p>In a heart-stopping moment of bravery and maternal instinct, 88-year-old Nicky Panagiotidis shielded her great-grandson, two-year-old Harvey, from a collapsing ceiling in their Melbourne home.</p> <p>The incident occurred at Panagiotidis' residence in Ascot Vale, where she was caring for Harvey late in the afternoon.</p> <p>According to Harvey's mother, Nicole Brown, the terrifying ordeal unfolded suddenly. As the ceiling began to crack, Panagiotidis swiftly reacted, rolling over off the couch to cover young Harvey with her own body. Brown, overwhelmed with gratitude and admiration for her grandmother's quick thinking, remarked, "I just know that motherly instinct that she has went through her to be a hero - she is actually a hero for him," <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/ascot-vale-great-grandmother-saves-grandson-from-ceiling-collapse/9f2bd38f-5254-4f53-981b-e3fb4b9c1bd9" target="_blank" rel="noopener">she told 9News</a>.</p> <p>In a moment of urgency, Panagiotidis managed to contact her daughter, Julie Polimos, informing her of the dire situation: "The ceiling is on top of me and we can't move." Emergency services promptly arrived at the scene, discovering the pair with thankfully minimal injuries.</p> <p>Despite the trauma of the event, Panagiotidis displayed remarkable resilience. Despite suffering bruising on her back and shoulders, she managed to walk to the ambulance and was later discharged from the hospital.</p> <p>Speaking of her mother's strength, Polimos highlighted Panagiotidis' dedication to traditional values, noting her commitment to home-cooked Greek Mediterranean meals over takeaways. "She doesn't buy takeaways, she always cooks home meals... Greek Mediterranean meals," Polimos proudly stated.</p> <p>The family attributes the ceiling collapse to a water leak, which they had noticed a week prior, observing cracks and sagging in the structure. However, amidst the unfortunate circumstances, they are immensely grateful for the fortunate outcome and the selfless actions of Panagiotidis, which will undoubtedly be remembered as a testament to the extraordinary love shared within the family.</p> <p><em>Images: 9News</em></p>

Family & Pets

Two iconic locations officially given dual Indigenous titles

<p>In a significant move to recognise and honour the rich cultural heritage of the Indigenous peoples of Australia, two iconic locations in northern NSW will now be officially known by their Indigenous names. This decision comes after impassioned calls from the community to acknowledge the profound significance these sites hold in Indigenous culture and history.</p> <p>Walgan, translating to "shoulder" in the Bundjalung language, has been designated as the dual name for Cape Byron, marking it as the Australian mainland's most easterly point. Cape Byron, situated in the picturesque town of Byron Bay, has long been a hotspot for tourists seeking stunning coastal views. However, beyond its natural beauty, this area holds deep cultural significance for the Arakwal and other Bundjalung people. It has served as a sacred site for important gatherings and traditional ceremonial practices, anchoring it firmly in the cultural tapestry of the region.</p> <p>Similarly, Nguthungulli, referred to as the "Father of the World", will now share its name with Julian Rocks, a renowned diving destination located 2.5km off Cape Byron. This underwater marvel, steeped in Aboriginal lore and legend, is intricately tied to the dreaming stories of the Arakwal and other Bundjalung communities.</p> <p>By bestowing these dual names, authorities aim to not only pay homage to the Indigenous heritage of the land but also to foster a greater understanding and appreciation of its significance among all Australians.</p> <p>The decision to officially recognise these dual names was approved by the NSW Geographical Names Board, following a submission from the National Parks and Wildlife Service. Additionally, in a nod to preserving local Indigenous language and culture, a reserve in the suburb of Bangalow will be formally named Piccabeen Park. The term "Piccabeen" originates from the Bundjalung language, referring to the bangalow palm and the traditional baskets crafted from its fronds.</p> <p>Jihad Dib, the Customer Service Minister, emphasised the NSW government's commitment to safeguarding and promoting Indigenous language and culture through place naming. "All Australians share a relationship to the land and the names we give to places convey their significance, sense of history and identity," he said "Dual-naming acknowledges the significance of Aboriginal culture and represents a meaningful step towards the process of unity in NSW."</p> <p>Echoing these sentiments, David Harris, the Aboriginal Affairs and Treaty Minister, underscored the enduring connections that the Arakwal and other Bundjalung peoples have maintained with these sites since time immemorial. "It is only right to honour that history and that connection through names that bring story and language to life for all Australians to enjoy," he said.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Legal

Jimmy Barnes walks daughter down the aisle

<p>Jimmy Barnes looks like the picture of health as he walked his daughter, Eliza-Jane, down the aisle, to marry her long-time partner Jimmy Metherell.</p> <p>The rock icon shared the positive update just months after undergoing <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/bad-news-jimmy-barnes-rushed-into-emergency-open-heart-surgery" target="_blank" rel="noopener">emergency open-heart surgery</a> for a dangerous bacterial infection that spread to his heart. </p> <p>The <em>Working Class Man</em> hitmaker, took to Instagram to finally share photos from the stunning day, with the ceremony being held at The Stables at Berrima's Bendooley Estate on February 28. </p> <p>"Teddy’s parents got married," he began in the caption of the post, with a picture of his grandson, Teddy in the arms of his newlywed parents. </p> <p>"We sang together as I walked EJ down the aisle to give her away, and nothing could have made me more proud," he continued. </p> <p>"EJ sang her vows in a love song she wrote for her Jim. Jim joined our family and we joined the Metherell clan. What more could a man wish for than the blessing of all these extraordinary loved ones around me.</p> <p>"And this wee guy of course," the Scottish-born Australian ended the caption, with a photo of Teddy looking dashing in a kilt. </p> <p>Barnes, matched his grandson in an all-black traditional Scottish get-up including the kilt and boots. </p> <p>In one photo, Eliza-Jane could be seen holding back her tears as she clung to her famous dad who was walking her down the aisle. </p> <p>The beautiful bride looked stunning in a vintage wedding gown with a nude base and white lace overlay, with a flower crown decorating her luscious curls. </p> <p>Eliza-Jane and Metherell welcomed 140 guests to their union at the estate, which included guests like <em>Crowded House</em> star Neil Finn and Mark 'Diesel' Lizotte. </p> <p>The couple, who have been together for almost ten years, had their two-year-old son as the ring-bearer. </p> <p><em>Images: Jimmy Barnes Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Two more infant deaths at Queensland hospital spark coroner's investigation

<p>In the wake of a recent healthcare scandal involving infant fatalities at a Queensland hospital, the state coroner is now delving into two more heartbreaking cases at the same facility, as <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-03-12/coroner-investigating-more-baby-deaths-at-mackay-base-hospital/103573248" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reported by the ABC</a>. This development has reignited concerns about the safety and quality of care provided to expectant mothers and newborns at Mackay Base Hospital.</p> <p>The stories of Chloe Stanley and Jenna McGregor echo a disturbing pattern of maternal distress, dismissal of concerns and tragic outcomes. Stanley's baby girl, Everlee, tragically passed away in her arms just seven days after birth in May 2023, while McGregor lost her son, Hugo, five days after his birth, two months prior. Both infants succumbed to hypoxic-ischaemic encephalopathy, a condition stemming from oxygen or blood flow deprivation during birth.</p> <p>Stanley's harrowing experience sheds light on a systemic issue of young mothers feeling marginalised and ignored by healthcare professionals. At just 19 years old, Stanley expressed her belief that she was being "judged" for her ago, leading to dismissal of her concerns about her baby's well-being, ultimately resulting in devastating consequences. McGregor's ordeal parallels Stanley's, underscoring a troubling lack of responsiveness to maternal distress and the urgent need for systemic reforms.</p> <p>These recent tragedies evoke haunting memories of <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-09-30/mackay-hospital-health-service-babies-obstetrics-review/101411172" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a similar case a decade ago</a>, involving the loss of Jessica Beazley's newborn son, Nathan. Like Stanley and McGregor, <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-09-30/mackay-base-hospital-obstetrics-harming-mother-and-baby/101485862" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Beazley's concerns </a>appear to have been disregarded, leading to irreversible harm. An investigation into Mackay Base Hospital's obstetrics and gynaecology service in 2022 revealed a disturbing pattern of inadequate care contributing to infant deaths and maternal suffering, prompting calls for comprehensive reforms.</p> <p>The review uncovered 122 recommendations aimed at improving communication, culture and empathy within the hospital's maternity care system. However, despite assurances of progress, Stanley and McGregor's experiences suggest that critical reforms have yet to be fully implemented, leaving expectant mothers vulnerable to similar tragedies.</p> <p>The Root Cause Analysis conducted by the Mackay Hospital and Health Service (MHHS) following McGregor's loss identified several systemic deficiencies, including delays in care escalation, poor collaboration and communication breakdowns. These findings underscore the urgent need for sustained efforts to address systemic failures and ensure the safety of expectant mothers and their babies.</p> <p>Stanley's and McGregor's accounts of feeling dismissed and unheard by healthcare providers highlight a pervasive culture of neglect and complacency that must be addressed. </p> <p>In response to these tragedies, health authorities have pledged to bolster obstetric care and enhance staff training and empathy initiatives. </p> <p>As the Queensland coroner investigates these heartbreaking cases, it is imperative that lessons are learned, and systemic reforms are swiftly implemented to prevent further loss of innocent lives.</p> <p>Expectant mothers like Chloe Stanley and Jenna McGregor deserve nothing less than the highest standard of care and compassion throughout their pregnancy and childbirth journey.</p> <p><em>Images: Mackay Base Hospital \ Getty Images file photo</em> </p>

Legal

Princess Diana's niece secretly welcomes first child

<p>Lady Kitty Spencer, 33, surprised royal fans when she revealed she secretly welcomed her first child with husband Michael Lewis, 65. </p> <p>Spencer, who is Princess Diana's niece and the daughter of Earl Charles Spencer, took to Instagram on Sunday to share a reel of her celebrating her first mother's day in the UK. </p> <p>"It's the joy of my life to be your mummy, little one," her post began. </p> <p>"I love you unconditionally 🤍 Happy Mother's Day to those who celebrate today 🤍," she added.</p> <p>In the clip, Spencer can be seen doting on her baby girl as they spend time together at the beach and at home. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4U3U4Fs70Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4U3U4Fs70Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Kitty Spencer (@kitty.spencer)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Her sisters were quick to comment on the post, followed suit by royal fans. </p> <p>"My perfect little niece," Eliza Spencer commented. </p> <p>"The most perfect angel in the world," added her sister Amelia Spencer. </p> <p>"What wonderful news dear Kitty! Congratulations on your precious little one," wrote one fan with a bunch of white love hearts. </p> <p>"Oh wow! Didn’t know you had a little bub. How gorgeous! Congratulations x," added another. </p> <p>"Oh Kitty! So happy for you❤ Happy Mother's Day!" wrote a third. </p> <p>Spencer tied the knot with Lewis in a lavish ceremony in Rome in 2021. </p> <p>She wore <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/beauty-style/lady-kitty-spencer-shows-fans-bts-look-at-her-five-wedding-dresses" target="_blank" rel="noopener">five custom Dolce & Gabbana wedding gowns</a>, and her two brothers walked her down the aisle as her father was unable to attend the wedding at the time due to a shoulder injury.</p> <p>The couple first met in 2018, and later got engaged in 2019, but had to postpone their wedding due to COVID-19.</p> <p>Her husband has three children from a previous marriage.</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Tahnee Sims' heartbreaking birthday tribute to Johnny Ruffo

<p>Tahnee Sims has shared a heartbreaking tribute to her late partner Johnny Ruffo on what would've been his 36th birthday. </p> <p>Sims took to Instagram on Friday to share a sweet throwback photo of the former <em>Home and Away </em>actor enjoying an ice cream. </p> <p>“Happy birthday angel boy ✨🕊️,” she captioned the photo. </p> <p>“Forever missing you & that cheeky grin ❤️.”</p> <p>Sims' followers took to the comments to commemorate Ruffo and share their well-wishes. </p> <p>“Thinking of you, Tahnee, on this day,” one follower wrote.</p> <p>“I’m sure he would want you to celebrate his life and do all the things he absolutely loved.”</p> <p>“Happy heavenly birthday, Johnny,” commented another. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C4Pd4TGRfnF/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C4Pd4TGRfnF/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tahnee Sims (@tahneesims)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Tahnee, thinking of you as you navigate life without your beloved Johnny, you’re such a brave, strong woman,” a third wrote. </p> <p>“My heart breaks for you. Johnny was such a beautiful soul,” added a fourth. </p> <p>“Happy heavenly birthday ... you are truly missed by all who knew you, your infectious smile will live on for ever ❤️❤️,” wrote another. </p> <p>Ruffo, who was born in Perth, Western Australia, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/beautiful-soul-johnny-ruffo-passes-away-at-35" target="_blank" rel="noopener">passed away aged 35</a> after a long battle with brain cancer on November 10, 2023.</p> <p>Not long after his passing, Sims shared a heartbreaking post about <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/johnny-ruffo-s-partner-shares-heartbreaking-post-about-grief" target="_blank" rel="noopener">grief </a>as she opened up about her struggle with losing her partner. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

Debate erupts over groom's unconventional footwear choice

<p>In what seems to be a picture perfect wedding, eagle-eyed social media users spotted one odd detail. </p> <p>The couple were snapped standing at the altar, and while everything else about their outfit seemed flawless, one Reddit user called the groom out for wearing black Crocs and black socks to his wedding. </p> <p>“Imagine you get ready for three hours and your groom shows up in Crocs,” the user said. </p> <p>“Crocs would be a legit reason to say no at the altar,” another wrote, before adding: <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">“Crocs are a valid reason to not date someone. They are horrible.”</span></p> <p>“He’s wearing a suit, maybe he has a problem with his feet that he can’t wear proper footwear,” a third commented</p> <p>“Surely no one, no matter how casual in style, voluntarily leaves the house in Crocs?”</p> <p>However many other social media users were quick to defend the wedding faux pas, with some saying that they wish they had done the same thing at their own weeding. </p> <p>“He probably has an injured foot or broken toe. He’s perfectly groomed (a pun) otherwise and obviously tried to camouflage his socks and crocs with his attire," one sympathised. </p> <p>“Ya I have really severe diabetic neuropathy in my feet, especially my toes. Doctor actually suggested Crocs as they have extra space and don’t restrict movement," another added.</p> <p>“I wore flip flops under my dress. I hate heels with a passion,” a third wrote. </p> <p>"He's wearing a nice suit, matching dark socks so I'm not seeing an issue here as he probably has some kind of foot or back injury or pain. If I were marrying him this wouldn't bother me," added a fourth. </p> <p>“Let the man get married in something comfortable. My wife could have shown up in a potato sack barefoot for all I cared, she is there to marry me, not for a fashion show," a fifth defended. </p> <p><em>Image: Reddit</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Edwina Bartholomew reveals the truth behind her unconventional marriage

<p>Edwina Bartholomew has shared why she doesn't live with her husband full time, and why the unconventional arrangement works for their family. </p> <p>The <em>Sunrise</em> star first spoke about her unusual situation with husband Neil Varcoe in 2023, when she admitted the married couple no longer slept in the same room. </p> <p>Now, speaking candidly to <a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/celebrity/sunrise-edwina-bartholomew-career-family/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Now to Love</em></a>, Bartholomew has share more insight into their marriage arrangement and how it first began. </p> <p>“Strangely, it works,” Edwina said. </p> <p>“We were never ‘date night’ people, but now we’re apart, we go to that extra effort when we’re together to go out for dinner, lunch or to a movie.”</p> <p>The <em>Sunrise</em> presenter went on to share that the reason Neil first moved out of the city was so he could recover from chronic fatigue syndrome, which he’s been battling for six years.</p> <p>Neil now lives in the Central West of NSW, three hours from where Edwina lives in Sydney. </p> <p>“I think he’s the best he’s been for a number of years just by virtue of having that space to recover – eating healthily, exercising, having a really regimented routine,” she said.</p> <p>“He’s actually really good, which is fantastic, because for a while he definitely wasn’t and it was challenging for both of us. As a wife, it’s hard to see your husband go through that, and hard for him to miss out on things because he can’t physically be there.”</p> <p>Unsure how long the arrangement will last, Edwina hasn't ruled out moving to the country in the future to be with her husband. </p> <p>"I think I'd miss the adrenaline of all the back-and-forth, and the excitement,” she admitted. “But sure, one day, it would be lovely to be able to have a family life that’s based in the country – in the distant future.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

Relationships

Leap of imagination: how February 29 reminds us of our mysterious relationship with time and space

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-ohara-874665">Emily O'Hara</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137">Auckland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>If you find it intriguing that February 28 will be followed this week by February 29, rather than March 1 as it usually is, spare a thought for those alive in 1582. Back then, Thursday October 4 was followed by Friday October 15.</p> <p>Ten whole days were snatched from the present when Pope Gregory XIII issued a papal bull to “restore” the calendar from discrepancies that had crept into the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius Caesar in 45 BCE.</p> <p>The new Gregorian calendar returned the northern hemisphere’s vernal equinox to its “proper” place, around March 21. (The equinox is when the Earth’s axis is tilted neither toward nor away from the sun, and is used to determine the date of Easter.)</p> <p>The Julian calendar had observed a leap year every four years, but this meant time had drifted out of alignment with the dates of celestial events and astronomical seasons.</p> <p>In the Gregorian calendar, leap days were added only to years that were a multiple of four – like 2024 – with an exception for years that were evenly divisible by 100, but not 400 – like 1700.</p> <p>Simply put, leap days exist because it doesn’t take a neat 365 days for Earth to orbit the Sun. It takes 365.2422 days. Tracking the movement of celestial objects through space in an orderly pattern doesn’t quite work, which is why we have February – time’s great mop.</p> <h2>Time and space</h2> <p>This is just part of the history of how February – the shortest month, and originally the last month in the Roman calendar – came to have the job of absorbing those inconsistencies in the temporal calculations of the world’s most commonly used calendar.</p> <p>There is plenty of <a href="https://theconversation.com/leap-day-fixing-the-faults-in-our-stars-54032">science</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-the-science-behind-leap-years-and-how-they-work-54788">maths</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-a-seasonal-snarl-up-in-the-mid-1500s-gave-us-our-strange-rules-for-leap-years-132659">astrophysics</a> explaining the relationship between time and the planet we live on. But I like to think leap years and days offer something even more interesting to consider: why do we have calendars anyway?</p> <p>And what have they got to do with how we understand the wonder and strangeness of our existence in the universe? Because calendars tell a story, not just about time, but also about space.</p> <p>Our reckoning of time on Earth is through our spatial relationship to the Sun, Moon and stars. Time, and its place in our lives, sits somewhere between the scientific, the celestial and the spiritual.</p> <p>It is <a href="https://shop.whitechapelgallery.org/products/time">notoriously slippery, subjective and experiential</a>. It is also marked, tracked and determined in myriad ways across different cultures, from tropical to solar to <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/pou-tiaki/300062097/matariki-and-the-maramataka-the-mori-lunar-calendar">lunar</a> calendars.</p> <p>It is the Sun that measures a day and gives us our first reference point for understanding time. But it is the <a href="https://librarysearch.aut.ac.nz/vufind/Record/1145999?sid=25214690">Moon</a>, as a major celestial body, that extends our perception of time. By stretching a span of one day into something longer, it offers us a chance for philosophical reflection.</p> <p>The Sun (or its effect at least) is either present or not present. The Moon, however, goes through phases of transformation. It appears and disappears, changing shape and hinting that one night is not exactly like the one before or after.</p> <p>The Moon also has a distinct rhythm that can be tracked and understood as a pattern, giving us another sense of duration. Time is just that – overlapping durations: instants, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, lifetimes, centuries, ages.</p> <h2>The elusive Moon</h2> <p>It is almost impossible to imagine how time might feel in the absence of all the tools and gadgets we use to track, control and corral it. But it’s also hard to know what we might do in the absence of time as a unit of productivity – a measurable, dispensable resource.</p> <p>The closest we might come is simply to imagine what life might feel like in the absence of the Moon. Each day would rise and fall, in a rhythm of its own, but without visible reference to anything else. Just endless shifts from light to dark.</p> <p>Nights would be almost completely dark without the light of the Moon. Only stars at a much further distance would puncture the inky sky. The world around us would change – trees would grow, mammals would age and die, land masses would shift and change – but all would happen in an endless cycle of sunrise to sunset.</p> <p>The light from the Sun takes <a href="https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/space-science/how-take-light-from-sun-reach-earth">eight minutes</a> to reach Earth, so the sunlight we see is always eight minutes in the past.</p> <p>I remember sitting outside when I first learned this, and wondering what the temporal delay might be between me and other objects: a plum tree, trees at the end of the street, hills in the distance, light on the horizon when looking out over the ocean, stars in the night sky.</p> <p>Moonlight, for reference, takes about <a href="https://www.pbs.org/seeinginthedark/astronomy-topics/light-as-a-cosmic-time-machine.html">1.3 seconds</a> to get to Earth. Light always travels at the same speed, it is entirely constant. The differing duration between how long it takes for sunlight or moonlight to reach the Earth is determined by the space in between.</p> <p>Time on the other hand, is anything but constant. There are countless ways we characterise it. The mere fact we have so many calendars and ways of describing perceptual time hints at our inability to pin it down.</p> <p>Calendars give us the impression we can, and have, made time predictable and understandable. Leap years, days and seconds serve as a periodic reminder that we haven’t.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224503/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-ohara-874665"><em>Emily O'Hara</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer, Spatial Design + Temporary Practices, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137">Auckland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/leap-of-imagination-how-february-29-reminds-us-of-our-mysterious-relationship-with-time-and-space-224503">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Jimmy Barnes walks daughter down the aisle

Two more infant deaths at Queensland hospital spark coroner's investigation

Princess Diana's niece secretly welcomes first child

Tahnee Sims' heartbreaking birthday tribute to Johnny Ruffo

Debate erupts over groom's unconventional footwear choice

Edwina Bartholomew reveals the truth behind her unconventional marriage

Leap of imagination: how February 29 reminds us of our mysterious relationship with time and space

Our Partners

News

Shop

Catalogues

Newspaper

Contests

Entertainment

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Property

Compare

Games

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Would you be happy as a long-term single? The answer may depend on your attachment style

Dean Jones’ daughter’s touching wedding tribute to her late father

Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

Keeping intimacy alive after menopause

Two-up, Gallipoli and the ‘fair go’: why illegal gambling is at the heart of the Anzac myth

“Love is so sweet": Man's sweet mid-air proposal goes viral

Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

Matt Shirvington opens up on marriage and fatherhood

Unique way couple raised $11K for their wedding

Qantas connects two destinations for the first time in 50 years

Princess of Wales and King Charles: one in two people develop cancer during their lives – the diseases and treatments explained

Heroic great-grandma saves two-year-old from collapsed ceiling

Two iconic locations officially given dual Indigenous titles

Jimmy Barnes walks daughter down the aisle

Two more infant deaths at Queensland hospital spark coroner's investigation

Princess Diana's niece secretly welcomes first child

Tahnee Sims' heartbreaking birthday tribute to Johnny Ruffo

Debate erupts over groom's unconventional footwear choice

Edwina Bartholomew reveals the truth behind her unconventional marriage

Leap of imagination: how February 29 reminds us of our mysterious relationship with time and space

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